In this special column named ‘The Babies Cue x Parenthood Series’ we will be showcasing the incredible stories of parents within our community. Get an exclusive glimpse into their parenting philosophies and daily routines.
Believe in the strength of the community. During those challenging moments when you feel overwhelmed or unsure, you can always rely on your fellow parents. You can seek motivation from their experiences and share your own inspiring tales to uplift others within the community.
Meet Nicole Voon (A Mother of 1 Child)
TBC x Parenthood Series: Nicole Voon & Her Son
Tell us a little about yourself.
I am a Mompreneur, as well as a Chef. I am also the creator of MAMA J’s Confinement Food, specializing in nourishing meals designed to brighten your spirits during confinement.
How many children do you have? What are his/her/their names?
I have 1 boy who is turning almost 3. His name is Jacob.
Why did you decide to have your child/children? How did you think having children would affect your life?
I Always wanted to have kids, the more the merrier. And I knew I wanted to have kids, at a younger age so I have more energy to play with my kids and spend more time with them. I knew that becoming a mother would change my life, but I never expected the changes. The best and biggest change was how my patience level is so much higher now hahaha.
Parent Nicole Voon Pregnant with Her Husband
Describe your knowledge and/or experiences with children prior to becoming a parent. Did you prepare for parenting? If so, how did you prepare?
No, I didn’t prepare for parenthood. Zero experience, zero knowledge, I always believe in OJT (on-job-training), so that’s what the first year of motherhood was like for me- yes I wish I did some prep beforehand to make things easier.
How and where did you learn about pregnancy and childbirth? Were your expectations and knowledge of the prenatal and birth period accurate?
It was through the support of support groups, apps like TheAsianParent app, and my family who guided me through it. I had a simple birth plan and I stuck to it, despite the odds going against my favor then. I was told I needed an emergency c-sec after 16 hours of labour, but my birth plan was to give birth naturally, so my husband and I prayed and prayed, and an hour later, our baby was born.
What has been the most meaningful part of parenting for you?
Almost everyday has been meaningful ever since Jacob was born. There’s definitely ups and downs, it’s the reward of seeing our little one smile and laugh, and his little hugs and kisses.
TBC x Parenthood Series: Nicole Voon & Her Son
What had been the most difficult part of parenting for you?
The most difficult part of parenting is not being able to be there for my child as much as I wanted; the mom guilt is real. Being a working mom, I’m still struggling to find a balance between both working and parenting and wanting to strive in both is just taking a toll on me.
Who inspires you to become a better parent?
My husband is my biggest inspiration. The way he loves so unconditionally, how he takes care of our son even after a long day at work, and how he manages to juggle and divide his attention and love and still prioritise our relationship.
What is your personal motto?
Everything happens for a reason.
TBC x Parenthood Series: Nicole Voon & Her Son
Do you have any word of advice for other parents who are starting their own families?
Try to live in the moment and capture memories as much as you can. Every stage, from pregnancy to newborn, to toddler, everything. sometimes we’re so busy with life we forget the littlest things, so try to be mindful of it.
What do you do in your free time as self care? How do you unwind?
I honestly have too many hobbies haha. I love baking, painting, cooking & watching Netflix.
What is one thing you are grateful for?
My husband.
After experiencing our first loss, we mourned as a family and my mother in law took care of me, showering me with good confinement food, daily massages to purge out the wind, and check ins with me to make sure I was okay. But I was too depressed to see all the good there was.
I had a full physical recovery from the miscarriage but emotionally and mentally, not so much. When we first found out we were pregnant again half a year after we had a loss, we were filled with joy and happiness! But before we could even get to celebrating, fear came knocking on our doors. We felt scared, and traumatised of doing anything “wrong” that might cause another loss. Every single step we took was with precaution, fear, and worry.
The entire pregnancy for me was so depressing, that I didn’t even bother having a baby shower or gender reveal or even to document my pregnancy. Now when I look back, I only have less than 5 photos of the entire 10 months pregnancy. I didn’t know what I was going through then, and up till after giving birth, I was still an emotional wreck.
My husband tried again and again to reach out to me but I was closed shut. Finally a year after giving birth, I decided it was time for me to get out of my house. It was then I started to socialise again with people other than my family. And I realise that I needed help. So that’s when I started therapy to help me cope with my emotions, learnt how to handle them as well as to process the unresolved emotions that I had from our miscarriage.
I feel that post-miscarriage, we all need a lot of emotional support. Whether we feel we need it or not, we won’t know what it might lead to.
And even the right guidance and knowledge on taking care of myself emotionally and mentally, I’m still a work in progress. So if you ask me, I don’t think I’m ready yet to go through it all again.
Connect with Nicole Voon!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolevooon
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nicolevooon
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