In this special column named ‘The Babies Cue x Parenthood Series’ we will be showcasing the incredible stories of parents within our community. Get an exclusive glimpse into their parenting philosophies and daily routines.
Believe in the strength of the community. During those challenging moments when you feel overwhelmed or unsure, you can always rely on your fellow parents. You can seek motivation from their experiences and share your own inspiring tales to uplift others within the community.
Meet Jane Surin (A Mother of 2 Children)
Tell us a little about yourself.
Hey there! My name is Jane and I’m not your conventional looking mum. I’m a very colourful individual, with red hair and many tattoos. I’m into fitness, pop culture, bubble tea and I’m a social media influencer who also hosts or models for photoshoots and events. Other than all that, I’m a full time mum and bestie to my kids which basically keeps me super busy. 🙂
How many children do you have? What are his/her/their names?
I have two beautiful children, a girl and a boy. My older child is Shayera who is 6 years old this year and my son Zayne who is 5 years old this year. Shayera is named after the real name of the DC comics superhero “Hawkgirl”. While Zayne is a mix of their father’s name and my name. I’m also a Batman fan so instead of Bruce Wayne, we like to jokingly call him “Bruce Zayne”. 😂
Why did you decide to have your child/children? How did you think having children would affect your life?
Well, both of my kids were a blessing, they weren’t planned at all! Honestly, I never thought I would become a mom even though everyone around me kept telling me that I would make a great one. (I think they noticed the way I mothered my then-boyfriends. 😅)
Describe your knowledge and/or experiences with children prior to becoming a parent. Did you prepare for parenting? If so, how did you prepare?
Thankfully before I got pregnant, my sis had birthed her first set of twins and I was getting so close with them as babies. I would start missing them too. Then the next year after they were born, I got pregnant! So it wasn’t too bad as I had hand me downs from my sis and she also shared her experience with me. Anyway, I googled a lot on what to expect as I’m a huge planner. I was also blessed to have very helpful people around me as many stepped up to extend help in various ways once I shared on my socials that I was expecting. 🙂
How and where did you learn about pregnancy and childbirth? Were your expectations and knowledge of the prenatal and birth period accurate?
I got info mostly from my sis, google, and gynae visits. Thankfully, I had a rather easy pregnancy for both. I mean.. my first pregnancy I had only found out about it when I was almost 5 months in as both of my home test kits I took showed up negative. It was a very strange time. I only really confirmed my pregnancy at a visit to the doctors. 😅
What has been the most meaningful part of parenting for you?
Seeing my children’s happy faces throughout the years and their random “I love yous” to me. I also love how I’m their best friend as I’m also a kid at heart. I didn’t get a rather nice childhood so it’s nice to be reliving a second childhood along with them. So as a parent, it’s nice that I can be a kid again at times alongside my children. But there are moments where I have to face the reality that I’m a parent and discipline them when the need arises.
What had been the most difficult part of parenting for you?
The part where there are days when you’re just not emotionally, physically, or mentally ok and you HAVE to show up. You can’t take an “MC” as a parent if you’ve got no help and you’re the only one available to care for them. Your child’s needs come before yours, but… You also have to take care of yourself as you have to be ok so that your child can be ok. You’ve gotta master that balance of looking after yourself as well as your little ones. Also, handling outside interference from just anybody who has an opinion on how you parent your kids. Treat the unhelpful input as white noise and do what’s best for yourself and your kids.
Who inspires you to become a better parent?
This might sound sad but maybe the question to me is who shows me how NOT to become a better parent. I’ve seen some examples of bad parenting and I often make sure I don’t become a version of that with my kids. While I’m not perfect, but I pride myself on the amount of patience I have towards my kids given the cards life has dealt me. I don’t have it easy but I do my best as much as I can to make sure that the kids don’t feel my struggles. It’s my duty to shield them from my hardship and to give them a happy childhood. It’s challenging at times but I remind myself how important upbringing is as it really sets the foundation to shaping a child’s future.
What is your personal motto?
Mine are various twists from the whole… “When life gives you lemons and you make lemonades quote.” It could end up in you making a lemonade stand, or making lemon sorbet, or even adding tequila and making a margarita out of it. To put it simply, there are just so many and no exact right or wrong way to tackle life’s challenges. Life is never easy or one tracked so you gotta think outside of the box, make trials and errors, fall then get up and try again… I realize I’m just full of resilient mottos 😂
Do you have any word of advice for other parents who are starting their own families?
Don’t stress or worry too much. Usually, everything will work itself out as you wing it or go through the motions of it. I mean, get prepared of course but don’t worry over things you can’t control. And this is coming from me, someone who is an over-thinker so I would know all of this best. Also, communication between partners is SO IMPORTANT. It’s a load of teamwork so make sure you’re both in it as one and plan for everything together as a family.
What do you do in your free time as self care? How do you unwind?
I’m actually still getting the hang of self-care as I’ve been so bad at it for years. As an influencer, I tend to mix work and play a lot. As in, I would only do nice things for myself if my “work” sent me there. So now, I try to go for pampering or dining experiences on my own without it being “part of the job”. Other than that, I like to head to the gym, grocery shop, get my hair done, and go for a facial or massage when the kids are in school. Even doing craftwork is therapeutic. Really some Me-time is so important. Even watching a show in peace is self-care to me. 😄
What is one thing you are grateful for?
The genuine love from friends. I used to be so independent that I thought I could do without friends. Over time when I had some tumbles in life, it was my friends and even some very old ones from way back who I didn’t expect, that came forward and extended a helping hand to me. For that, I am so very grateful that I’m surrounded by friends who are like family to me.
Connect with Jane Surin!
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