In this special column named ‘The Babies Cue x Parenthood Series’ we will be showcasing the incredible stories of parents within our community. Get an exclusive glimpse into their parenting philosophies and daily routines.
Believe in the strength of the community. During those challenging moments when you feel overwhelmed or unsure, you can always rely on your fellow parents. You can seek motivation from their experiences and share your own inspiring tales to uplift others within the community.
Meet Karolyn Choo (A Mother of 1 Daughter)
Tell us a little about yourself.
I am a mother of a 5-year-old, and also an advocate for raising children differently from the past generations. I believe in respectful parenting, and doing my own inner work, all of these helped me a lot in my motherhood journey.
How many children do you have? What are his/her/their names?
I have 1 daughter and her name is Xinxuan.
Why did you decide to have your child/children? How did you think having children would affect your life?
I never questioned myself, on the whys, in my twenties, thinking it was just a rite of passage. But after becoming a parent, I do realise, there is so much to consider before becoming a parent.
The biggest challenge was questioning my entire identity, and what does a meaningful life means to me. I never knew having kids would be this impactful. Till having tread the path. Having kids, does make me question, the future that she will have, and my own future, what do I want to be? Because I know, how I show up, will inherently impact Xinxuan and her own identity as a woman too.
Describe your knowledge and/or experiences with children prior to becoming a parent. Did you prepare for parenting? If so, how did you prepare?
I’ve read so many books, on nutrition, baby led weaning, respectful parenting, and managing your marriage post kids. Having information didn’t mean anything till I began on my inner work, where I healed from my very own childhood wounds. That was when, I could embody all that massive amount of information, and discern for myself, the values and intentions that would work for myself, Xinxuan, and my husband PJ.
How and where did you learn about pregnancy and childbirth? Were your expectations and knowledge of the prenatal and birth period accurate?
Gynaes. They are the best source of information. I have two different gynae for Xinxuan’s pregnancy. Having two miscarriages, I wanted different opinions, to understand the options that I have. I think post-pregnancy was harder to anticipate than during pregnancy itself. I have a total loss of my bladder control, it was something that I didn’t expect. And took me years to recover the utility of my pelvic floor muscles.
The amount of change, that a woman experience after pregnancy, aren’t often discussed. The relationship with your partner, with yourself, your body. The changes are normal. And it is hard because you won’t be the same anymore. There is a lot of vulnerability around imperfections. Making it harder for women to discuss these topics.
What has been the most meaningful part of parenting for you?
The connection between Xinxuan and me. Watching her grow into her own individuality and how her personality blossoms had been such a humbling experience. How she can exclaim to me, “Mommy! I am so adorable!” How she shows up authentically as herself amongst most social settings.
Being part of Xinxuan’s childhood heals my inner child. I am so proud of myself, for breaking cycles and limiting beliefs, that past generations of women had placed on themselves. I am sure when Xinxuan grows up, she knows, she is deserving of the life that she chooses to have. And if she ever chooses to be a parent, “Mom’s guilt” won’t be as strong an emotion as what many millennial women are experiencing right now.
What had been the most difficult part of parenting for you?
Mom’s guilt. Not being able to be everything during one season of my life.
Who inspires you to become a better parent?
Xinxuan. I believe in being a parent, that your child will be proud of.
What is your personal motto?
I am capable of anything that I focus on intentionally.
Do you have any word of advice for other parents who are starting their own family?
There is no perfect parent. Only a curious parent.
What do you do in your free time as self care? How do you unwind?
PJ and I often hold destressing conversations. Meditation and journaling. Working out for myself.
What is one thing you are grateful for?
An awesome partner, and the opportunity to be the mom of such an awesome child.
Connect with Karolyn Choo!
Are you a Parent too?
Connect with us – we’d love to feature you! Say hi to us at [email protected] or reach out to us via our social media.